Why this blog? I hope its cathartic. I find myself at forty without any of the signs that society tells me are signs of success. No money, no relationship, and the most recent blow that led me to this deep funk is losing my job. Admittedly I did not like said job, but it paid my bills.

I hope that in facing my demons about my fear of aging and trying to live the life I want, I can use this blog to be completely honest and to laugh at myself and the world.

And it will not all be misery and tears; many laughs, some sex and a bit of New York to boot.

I spent my 20s with one goal – flee the country I was born into and come to America. I did not see a way to live life as an out gay man there. I didn’t like being in the closet and I didn’t like what I thought was my only other option, complete marginalization.

My 30s were spent in a daze. I don’t know where they went or what I did. Part of this blog will be remembering those few years and what happened. Maybe in looking back I can look forward.

Why this name – the boy at forty? Well because my first idea, adventures in growing up, was taken. I am forty. And as a gay man I identify as a boy that is I am a bottom who likes daddies. Plus I think I still have a lot to do to grow up.

Oh man, this sounds so earnest. I promise my next blog will not be as self serious.

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